Below is a list of "Mary's
Musings" written by Rev. Mary Wellemeyer of the Unitarian
Universalist Church of Manchester. They can be viewed by clicking on the
appropriate link.
Previous Years
2006-2007
2005-2006
2004-2005
2003-2004
2002-2003
2001-2002
I was staying overnight with friends
in Western Massachusetts on the way back from a very refreshing week away, when
the wind came up, rustling the leaves in a way that reminded me of early
fall. The temperature dropped, too,
another reminder of the changing season.
I lay in bed that night, listening to what sounded like the winds of
change, considering the shift in church life that happens in a surprisingly few
weeks. It was just a few hours of reminder, though, for we really are in full
summer, with all its be-here-now glory.
I have to hurry up, I decided, to
visit friends, to hang out and talk about nothing in particular, to do that
creative “moodling” that energizes my work for the
church year. I hope you are having a
time for moodling, that you have made space in the intensity of everything
for whatever it is that feeds your creativity.
Life is so much more rewarding when it isn’t a constant round of work,
work, and more work, but sometimes it’s hard to see a way to make any space for
anything else. It feels indulgent. If feels risky – something
important at work might slip through your fingers. But let me tell you, something important will
surely slip away if you don’t take the time to go fishing, hang out with people
you love, take a hike, sit and sip iced coffee and watch the people passing by,
whatever.
So make an appointment with yourself
to waste some time in these closing weeks of summer. Don’t fix the car during that appointed time,
and don’t seal the driveway. Don’t
organize the closets, and don’t paint that funky cabinet. You need to do those things, of course, but
do as I try to remember to do – make an appointment with yourself for just
being at loose ends, for nothing in particular, for just being here now. Just a part of a day here,
another couple of hours there.
That will be sufficient.
Enjoy!
Peace,
Mary
We stand on the edge of summer, some
of us with ambitions of taking time away, getting a change of pace. At this time last year, I was in Spain,
getting ready to walk a hundred and some miles on the Camino de Santiago,
an intimate journey through the countryside of Navarra and La Rioja, a place of
quaint villages and ancient buildings that people on this side of the Atlantic
have mostly never heard of. And this
year, I am here, just returned from a quick trip to Northwestern Montana for a
family wedding, a different kind of intimate journey to places most people have
never heard of. Now, that walk in Spain
really was a change of pace, traveling on foot, no less, not even by
bicycle. And the trip to Montana was one
of those more fast-paced experiences, with the airplane, the rental car,
the hotel, the running around from one thing to another. There’s
a change of pace at UUCM in the summer, as well. Things are slower. Once upon a time, the
church used to close, but that has not been true for six summers now. I was dismayed recently to overhear one of
our long-time members telling a newcomer, “we’ll be
going into summer shutdown soon.”
No. It may be shutdown
for those who don’t attend, but we really do have informal summer services
every Sunday throughout the summer. So I
hope if you’re around on Sundays, you’ll think of church.
Summer
is a chance to explore different themes, hear voices of congregation members,
and share in a smaller group. It’s also
a time when many, many newcomers arrive to check us out. Sometimes the newcomers outnumber the
established folks on a summer Sunday! If
we’re serious about reaching out to those who want to hear our message, then
summer is an important time for us. People move into the area and start looking
around for ways to connect. Often the
Unitarian Universalist Church is on their lists of places to go, so it’s
important to be open. Others who have
been thinking of trying us out find that in summer there are fewer competing
demands, so they drop in. If we were
closed, we’d miss the chance to meet them.
Because
it’s a smaller group on summer Sundays, it’s easy to make friends. So for a change of pace this summer, I advise
coming to church!
See you there!
Peace,
Mary
A child dedication, New Member welcome, weddings, there are all these wonderful beginnings happening in our congregation this spring! And just now, it’s a perfect early spring day, with bright sun shining through the still-bare branches of trees. By the end of May, we’ll have leafy shade to keep things cool, but right now the brightness and warmth is just what we need.
We’ve been talking and talking about our church and its ministry in the larger world, evolving a vision of our wonderful, vibrant congregation that transcends our usual round of problem-solving processes. I hope everyone will take advantage of opportunities to participate. Those “Town Hall Meetings” are not just about a particular topic – they are occasions for getting to hear other voices, getting to know one another better, and even for conversation about what we are doing here. There’s one left, on the church budget, on May 4, followed by the Annual Meeting on May 18, a more structured conversation about the coming year. Our coming year starts July 1, 2008 and ends June 30, 2009.
For the annual meeting, of course, there are problems that need to be solved. The idea is to solve them before we get there, rather than try to have conversations about differences when we should be experiencing ourselves as a unified body. So do show up on May 4 after church for frank and open discussion! I’m thinking it would be better to have an extra session of an informal Town Hall Meeting if we need it than to be forced to continue the Annual Meeting to a second Sunday. There are reasons why we might plan to do a second session of an annual meeting, but that’s different from what happened last year.
There’s an important matter pending from this fiscal year, as our Treasurer points out in the budget report included in this issue of the Flame and Chalice. Last May, the congregation adopted an unbalanced budget with a five-point plan that was supposed to help close the gap between expected outgo and expected income. We have learned important things from the five-point plan, but it has not closed the gap. Now it’s up to us (yes, I am a member of the congregation, and yes, I make a monthly pledge, so it’s us for sure) to come up with the funds to make it to the end of this year. Web Anderson’s suggestion is that we give UUCM our Federal economic stimulus checks. I think I’ll do it. How about you?
See you in church!
Peace,
Mary
There’s a lot of new and good around church these days. New families arrive every week to start their little ones in our Children’s Church program, and they’re saying they plan to come regularly. Art is serving twenty plus people for supper on Sunday evenings, which means the Adult Enrichment program is full of people. Now, if only the Dreadful Weather would stop! The sun is shining more brightly and more frequently, the tops of daffodil and tulip plants are peeking out, and sightings of snowdrops, crocus, and scylla have been reported.
It has been wonderful to have our occasional choir for a couple of services. Even our creaky old organ has come into play. It brings refreshing variety in the skilled hands of Gary Finger and Mark St. Hilaire. I am grateful to the expert singers who are able to provide a blessing of song without any leader. It brings spring to the frozen rivers of the heart.
There has been some thawing of the ice jams on our congregational communication stream of late. Some people who were feeling disgruntled have found ways to bring forth their disgruntlement so we can talk about it. I hope they are feeling received and heard. Thawing is good, and gradual is good – we want to avoid floods even as we cheer the thaw! So do let us move deliberately to have the conversations we need to have. The Board is providing three forums for conversation in the form of what they are calling “Town Meetings”. I hope they will be well attended. The first one is on Membership and Growth, the second is about our Endowment, and the third is a Budget Hearing to air some of the issues around our operating budget for the fiscal year that starts July 1.
We have passed the Spring Equinox, so the balance of the day is toward light. It’s a season of rapid change in these latitudes, with light and warmth and growth suddenly happening after a time of deep snow, dark nights, frozen rivers, and quiet woods. May we catch the spirit of the season.
See you in church!
Peace,
Mary
As I write today, rain is falling on a layer of snow and ice that drifted in overnight. I do notice, though, even when it’s cloudy, that there is daylight earlier in the morning and later in the afternoon. We may have cold and snow and the dreaded “wintry mix” between now and the end of March, but things are definitely changing. The world is definitely moving toward more light, toward green grass and blossoming trees and birdsong. The promise makes it possible to wait through this time of transition.
I sense a renewed optimism in church, too, reflecting the sense of promise the changing season brings. Signups are lively for Covenant Groups, more visitors arrive at our door every Sunday, and we keep putting out more tables for Thursday suppers. The class I am leading on “Co-Creating the Church We Want” is well into its reflections on who we are and where we might be going, laying a foundation for a wider conversation about our identity and vision. A sense of shared vision can lead us forward to a sense of shared goals, that is, to a strategic plan that reaches beyond our cycle of annual budgeting.
In the meantime, we’ll be putting together a new budget for the coming year that I hope reflects this new optimism in a general way. We have reached our goal of holding our endowment withdrawals to sustainable levels, so the several years we have endured of predictably shrinking support from that source are behind us. Hopefully, we won’t have that feeling of having to paddle like mad just to stay in one place! And, we’re hiring a new, permanent, Director of Religious Education!
For whatever reason, last year the total number of pledges to the annual fund drive was less than it had been. I’m hoping that drop will be reversed this year, not just because of the money, but because it’s good spiritual practice for us to make a place in our personal budgets for our faith community. As a member of the congregation myself, I do make an annual pledge that requires me to write a check every month. Sometimes it’s not easy. I remind myself how grateful I am for the gifts that make it possible for me to have that money to give. I remind myself how much I care for you all. I hope you, too, are grateful for what the church contributes to your life, and that a monthly contribution is something you can manage, even as fuel oil bills and gasoline prices erode our spending power.
So we’re back to “wintry mix”. The economy is delivering snow and sleet and rain right now, but soon it will be spring. .
See you in church!
Peace,
Mary
Snow! And for me, no skiing yet. First, I was suffering from a sore knee, then, it was holiday time and I was way too busy doing church stuff, then, relatives came, and after that, rain. I’m so impatient! I’m so looking forward to taking my no longer sore knee out there this week to see what happens.
Skiing is for me a spiritual practice, connecting me with the deepest truth, the highest love. It is true that that can be true of everything, but I say, never mind sitting when I can be going downhill! Do you have something you do that really connects you with the deepest truth, the highest love? For me, it’s sliding downhill over snow, especially near trees on those narrow trails you can still find in some places in New England – Mad River Glen, of course. And I confess, I like the New England thing of skiing through the woods on gladed trails. There are some conveniently and cheaply located at Cannon Mountain, though I hear they are not snowy enough yet. My kids make me wear a helmet, and they are right. Last season, I actually skied fast enough in the woods that a tree might have really hurt my head if it hadn’t been protected.
But this year I’m looking at limited skiing, because of that knee, mostly, and the out- of- shapeness that has gone with waiting for it to mend. So I’ll do some half days. And practice acceptance. No use making myself miserable wishing I were stronger. The awful truth is that I’m not as young as I sometimes think.
My beloved grandmother made her whole day a spiritual retreat, though she did not call it that. She took one thing at a time, grateful for each moment, singing through the day, watching for the birds at the feeder. In the evening, she had a careful routine for taking just enough – in the Zen monastery, that would be the ceremony of oryoki – only in her case it was just one and a half ounces of bourbon, followed by just a certain amount of good, wholesome food. Then she would wash the dishes, a ceremony in itself, (“It’s good for my arthritis”, she would say) and afterwards enjoy a cup of tea. Maybe one day my life will be like that, measured out in love and gratitude, moment by moment. But for now, I just can’t wait to put my skis on.
May you find your moments of spiritual retreat in every day, and may they blossom into years of deep satisfaction and harmony with all life.
See you in church!
Peace,
Mary
Here in the Northern Hemisphere, the sun guides us to a sense of new beginnings around this time of year. But this time, when January 1 rolls around, it is the legislative hand of humankind that creates that excitement of something important beginning. Civil Unions for same-gender couples are becoming legal. I am writing before this all happens, anticipating a time of standing on the steps of the Statehouse in Concord to welcome the New Year by formalizing the unions of perhaps twenty couples, part of a group of clergy and justices of the peace gathered for the purpose. What a rush!
Of course, Civil Unions are just a step along the way to full marriage equality, but a step worthy of celebration. And New Hampshire is the first state to take this step through legislative action, lighting the way for others. The determination of gay and lesbian citizens of New Hampshire to “live free” (as in “live free or die”) has brought this to pass, and I am confident this same determination will lead us on to establish full marriage equality.
This is a time to remember the importance of separation between church and state. Clergy and others act as agents of the state when they sign marriage licenses or certificates of Civil Union. I suspect that to move forward to state acceptance of same-gender marriage, we will need to unhook the religious ceremony from the civil one, because some religious communities simply do not, cannot, accept marriage that is not between a man and a woman. We Unitarian Universalists, on the other hand, have been performing ceremonies of Holy Union for gay and lesbian couples since the early 1970's, and tend to feel somewhat miffed about not having them be acknowledged by the state. So I say, let's have every couple receive a Civil Union from the state, to proclaim their marriage legally. Then let them have a wedding in their church, according to church policies, to establish themselves religiously.
This is an issue of importance to couples who have previously been divorced, as well, since in some religious traditions, it is difficult to remarry. Civil Union, the marriage that does not have a Church component, could establish the couple legally. Religious marriage would then be a separate matter. If we stop mingling the religious with the civil in our thinking about marriage, maybe we can get on with equal treatment for all couples who are determined to be families in New Hampshire.
See you in church!
Peace,
Mary
The man from Mexico, Esteban, took me aside at the conference of the International Council of Unitarians and Universalists (ICUU) to speak earnestly about his confusion. He found it hard to believe that the Transylvanians and the Africans, with their bishops, their vestments, their words about Christ, and all, were actually Unitarians. Was his congregation's way, the way of not speaking of Christ, but rather of Jesus, of understanding a transcendent mystery as divine, the way of people gathering rather informally for worship, was his way all right? Did he belong here? Did they belong here? Just how big is this umbrella? The Mexican congregations are new, and their association with the ICUU even newer, so these were important concerns.
I did my best to answer. I said the Transylvanians were holding onto a very old tradition of Unitarianism, the one established by Francis David back in the 17th century. They had been persecuted for their beliefs, first by the Catholics, then by the Communists, but they had held on, and now they were very conservative, because the holding on had prevented any theological evolution. Their ways had evolved considerably since the Partner Church program had put them in touch with congregations in the United States. But they are still basically Christians who don't pray to Christ, because only the One God is wholly divine. The Africans have become Unitarians through their criticism of the religions the Christian missionaries brought them. The churches in Burundi and Kenya are quite new, still finding their way toward a way of doing church. Right now, their worship is in their work with orphans. But in Nigeria, the congregations began eighty years ago, and have been evolving since then in complete isolation from the rest of the Unitarian and Universalist world. So they are a bit old-fashioned, too. More contact with what's happening now may give them some different ideas.
Esteban seemed satisfied. I told him, too, that his own congregation's way is very much like the way of many congregations in the United States and Canada. It's a big, and maybe somewhat leaky, theological umbrella.
I didn't tell him how much stress there is on that umbrella at the time of the winter holidays here. How some people get upset when Christmas is about the birth of Jesus, and others get upset when we don't sing the old traditional words to the Christmas carols (it's even sometimes the same people). I'm hoping that in our congregation, at least, we can celebrate Bodhi Day, Hanukkah, Yule, and Christmas, all with their own appropriate stories, myths, and theologies. Let's put up the umbrella and let it snow!
See you in church!
Peace,
Mary
Last month, I wrote about the doors of the heart. This month, it's the hinges we sometimes encounter in life. Kate Braestrup wrote in Here if You Need Me that she encountered one of those hinges when her husband died in an accident. Life had been one way before, but now, it turned out to be hinged, swinging suddenly in a completely different direction. Hinges. In her ministry among game wardens and search and rescue teams, she often meets people at times when their lives have swung suddenly on a hinge. She says that when you reach one of those hinged places, it's important to lean into the love that is surely there.
For her, a Unitarian Universalist minister, the love is God. For her, God and the love are embodied in human beings. The humans in whom she finds love and God most clearly are the people who help with search and rescue work. These are folks who come in all ages, from all walks of life, who gather when called on to walk the land in a systematic, thorough, yet quick way, with the objective of finding people who are lost in the woods. These rescuers have to take time to eat, and they have to take a break when it gets dark, and it is in those times of just hanging out together that she says you know God is present.
They are a congregation with a task. The task helps create the bonds of affection among them. We, in our less specialized congregation, embody that love as well, I'm thinking, or we ought to. But we don't do search and rescue. What is our task? What is it we do together that helps create the bonds of affection among us? Or is there some other way that the Holy appears in our midst? Or would you really not put it that way? I'd love to hear from you, and I'll publish answers I receive in next month's newsletter. Please leave me a note -- my mailbox is in the back hall near the offices -- or send me an email, TheStudy@uumanchester.org or even use regular mail, whatever works for you.
See you in church!
Peace,
Mary
This is the time for turning, for turning our hearts to things that matter. How are we spending our days? How are we living our lives? What is the influence of our lives on the world around us? Am I a small bearer of the spirit of love and justice? Do I, in my daily living, celebrate the spirit of life? Whether or not you filled out the Spiritual Inventory last month, I hope you have made a chance to reflect on the meaning of your life in some specific ways. Are you taking good care of yourself? Are you attending to the important relationships in your life? It really makes a difference if all of us try to live in ways that promote love and justice every day.
I like the story of the monk who instructed the lay person who was driving him to a conference to go through the toll booth where there was a person rather than throwing coins into the basket. "When you have a chance to greet a fellow human being, you should take it," he said. I try to greet my fellow human beings, too, although sometimes they are a little taken aback. What happens when you do it? I'd love to know. It's the most basic random act of kindness we can practice.
October is also a time for turning to our memories of those who have passed from among us, of relationships that continue only through remembering times now gone. Our Sunday of Remembrance at the end of September begins this time, and we close it with what the Wiccans call Samhain, at the end of the month, when they tell us the veil between the worlds is thin. I invite us all to remember and to find others with whom to share the stories of what we recall. I find myself remembering the days when my father, my two brothers, and I would rake leaves in our yard, years ago, piling them together into what would become compost for the garden. While they were still fluffy, we loved to jump into them, so sometimes we kids would have to rake them up again!
October is a good time for opening the doors of our hearts to others, for soon, the doors of winter will close us indoors, and we'll need the warmth of our affections to keep off the chill.
See you in church!
Peace,
Mary
Crickets chirping and chrysanthemum plants at roadside stands, it must be that time of year again, when summer starts to yield to fall. Not only is the sun setting earlier, but that fabulous afterglow that happens in full summer is but a shadow of its former self. The sun still wakes me up, but it's at a more respectable hour, and the birds are more subdued.
I read with interest that the Honduras team from Manchester was second in the regional football league -- that is, what most of us anglos would call soccer. The same news story also said that they had never found out how to get Parks and Rec to find them a reserved place to practice. It seemed they just didn't know, not that anyone had given them a hard time. They would go practice wherever they could, whenever they could get together. And with that, they came in second to the Brazil team from Lawrence. Now, someone who knows how to talk to Parks and Rec has come to their aid. I hope they get an official field to play on and that they win it all next season. Even if they don't win it all, I hope they find out that Manchester supports its teams!
I think there are people in our congregation who just don't know how to participate, who don't quite feel invited to the many other things that happen here besides Sunday morning. We are like the Parks and Rec, happy to work with anyone, but not knowing who's out there wanting a place to do their thing. Let's all reach out to one another this fall -- those who know to those who don't know, and those who don't know to those who do-- let's get those unconnected people connected.
So: if you know what's going on, I invite you to befriend someone who's new, find out what they are looking for, and help them make connections. And: if you don't know what's going on, I invite you to befriend someone who's been around for awhile, tell them what you are looking for, and let them help you find your place here. And if you want to organize something that hasn't been happening, please go ahead! Ask someone how to coordinate it with everything else that's going on, ask someone how to let people know it's happening, and let it roll! Who knows, our metaphorical football team might work its way up in the standings and finally beat Brazil.
See you in church!
Peace,
Mary